Happy Birthday to Gerbie

In honor of my sweet little baby’s birthday this weekend, this post is not about England. I wanted to write something special to her. I am posting it a few days early, as between New Year’s, her party, and daddy leaving on Sunday, I fully expect craziness from now until Monday. Happy New Year’s everyone!
Dear sweet little baby, you came to us exactly two years ago. You have been a blessing from God. We can’t imagine our life without you, even with your complicated nature. I would not change you for the world. To be honest, you have been quite difficult at times, even before you arrived in this world. You are just like your mommy I am afraid, very impatient. You decided to try to arrive into this world early –the first time at 28 weeks (very scary) and then again at 34 weeks (still scary). And when you did arrive, you were so sweet natured and quiet……for the first two weeks of your little life. And then all hell broke loose, as you had colic and acid reflux. You, sweet little baby, became a crying, screaming mess for about three hours every evening until you were almost 4 months old. Your daddy used to put on sound blocking headphones and walk around our house holding you and I would put you in the baby bjorn and walk and walk and walk. Finally we bought a swing that rocked side to side that seemed to soothe you, and that is where you were for many hours of every day. As time went on, the opposite became true –now you are quite content to be held and cuddled, and mommy loves it. You want to “rock a baby”, “hold you” or “pat you”, all the time. (Even in the car, which is a whole other story my dear sweet one…it has not been easy to travel with you). You have turned into quite the little funny girl –your teachers call you a goof and you make your friends and your family laugh. You are really starting to enjoy life, and notice everything around you, and we love watching your reactions to things. I love watching you and your sister play together, it completely warms my heart. You love being tickled by daddy, and it makes me smile to hear your belly laughs. Your favorite things are your sister, french fries, Elmo and Dora. We love watching as you grow and we can’t wait to see the person you become. We love you little one, our family is complete with you in it.

Are we there yet?

Dropping Bean off at school today she said –mom, when are we moving to England already? Yep, I feel the same way Bean. The sad thing is, she has only known about our move for a week and it feels like we should be going already. My husband and I have been talking and preparing for this since September and I am ready to go. I still feel apprehensive about moving to another country, and I am going to miss our family terribly, don’t get me wrong. I am not anxious to leave because of those things, but I am anxious to get out of this transition period. I feel like our life is in limbo. I scheduled a storage container to be delivered in a few weeks so we can start loading the things we are not taking with us, and yesterday as Bean and I took down all the Christmas decorations we had two piles going –England Christmas and Storage Christmas. Of course, everything we didn’t put in the England Christmas pile, Bean tried to talk me into taking. But in England, our space will be limited. We will most likely rent a place that is smaller than our 2500 square foot house; it probably won’t have a basement or attic and from what I have found out, probably won’t have closets, or at least not big and spacious ones. And nothing that plugs in is making its way over there –we don’t want to deal with adapters and transformers just to plug in an artificial tree that is probably too large for the rooms we will have over there anyway. On another note, we got a call from the British Consulate yesterday, three of our visas are processed and ready to go –the hold-up was Gerbie. Apparently the under 5 crowd takes a bit longer to have a visa processed. They are scheduled to be delivered this week, so my husband is set to go on Sunday, now he has to start packing his suitcases with as much as he can take on his first trip. Fortunately, my mom is coming to stay with me for the first week after he leaves, I am hoping this will make the transition of daddy leaving easier for everyone. She is also going to be making the initial trip to England with us, to help us get settled, and this will be a big relief. And it will feel like old times when I ask her –mom, are we there yet?

Christmas

Christmas was great this year. We spent from last Tuesday through Sunday with family. It was a really nice holiday –we got to see all our family members, and I even got to see my best friend from high school while visiting my family. It was great catching up with her, and felt like no time had passed at all. I guess when you go through puberty and the drama of high school with someone, you are bonded for life. Even though Christmas was great, it was also pretty emotional for me. I was trying to just capture as many pictures and save as many memories as possible. We told some family that didn’t know we were moving yet the news and some more friends. My grandma’s reaction was pretty funny –she could not figure out for the life of her, WHY anyone would WANT to move to another country, even temporarily. She even said to me –well, I guess if you have to go, there is nothing you can do about it. She just didn’t understand. But the hardest part for me was leaving Maggie, my 12 year old Scottish Terrier, with my mom and dad. We are trying to transition her over to their house, so we are leaving her there for a week, then back here for a week, etc. This will hopefully be easier on her in the long run, but I think it may be harder on me. I thought that it would be easier to know that she would only be gone for a week the first time, but all I could think about yesterday when we left my parents house, was that she won’t understand why we were not bringing her with us. Selfishly I want her with us, but I realize that she is too old for the flight and the quarantine. And for those of you thinking –she is getting this upset about a dog? Maggie came to me when I was first living away from my family, she was company for me through some very rough times in my life, I often tell my husband I think he married me because he fell in love with her (he watched her when I had to travel for work before we started dating) and she is very protective of the girls. There will never be another one like her. Every time Bean got upset we were leaving her yesterday or Gerbie asked where she was last night, I tried not to cry. Don’t get me wrong, I know she is in great hands –my mom even said she would hold her up to the Skype camera for us, but unfortunately, that will only help us, not Maggie –as she is getting to be very deaf, and probably can’t see the screen either. (I did mention she was 12 after all). The girls will love seeing her though. Now, if I can just control these tears that fill up my eyes every time I mention her name. And I told my husband last night as we were finally relaxing after all the activities, and the kids were finally asleep –I get Maggie back on Saturday, and then he leaves on Sunday for three weeks. I am sure I will feel better after we are all together in England, this transition part is over, and we are on to our adventure. We were even discussing on the way to my parents house on Saturday what countries we wanted to visit while we were living there, I am so excited for that! But in the meantime, I need to get off the computer and run to Sam’s club to buy some more Kleenex now!

Biometrics completed

The Biometrics appointment was yesterday and it went better than expected. I was envisioning the social security office –a long line of people waiting, rude workers, etc. Surprisingly it was not at all like that. First I have to say –Bean was excited about the whole thing, a little nervous about what they would be doing to her fingers until we explained it would not hurt, but she loved being in the city (Columbus), she loved the parking garage, the elevator, the big building we were in. It is amazing how we forget how fascinated kids are with the things we take for granted, or things we even get frustrated with. While my husband and I were driving around each parking level getting nervous about finding a spot, she was hoping we would keep going and going –all the way to the top. So we finally did get a parking spot (almost at the very top) and Bean got to look out from a high parking level at the big buildings and the river. When we got to the office, it was clean, nice and not crowded at all. There were only 4 other people waiting, a security guard and two ladies taking fingerprints and pictures. Bean was so well behaved –she let the woman get her fingerprints, take her picture and cooperated with her every step of the way. We see why there is an age limit of 5 years old to get biometrics done –there is NO WAY our toddler would have cooperated at all. She would never have let them spray water on her fingers and press each one on the machine, she would have been so upset her treasured thumb was being pulled out of her mouth, nor would she have cooperated with the picture taking. Thankfully, they must realize that 2 year olds would never be able to do this. When we left there, we sent via fed-ex what seems like every single important document we have, to the British Consulate in Chicago. We will get confirmation that they received it today, and hopefully we will get everything back in time. Fingers crossed! On another topic, we have had many conversations with Bean now about moving. She is nervous and excited. On Sunday, daddy took her on a date to Barnes and Noble/Starbucks. He bought her a cookie, hot chocolate and a book on the UK, and they sat and talked and looked through the pictures. It seems her biggest worry is meeting new friends. That night she announced in an excited voice to friends we were having dinner with that she is moving to England. Monday morning at school drop off, she was excited to tell her teacher. She was a little upset that someone else would be moving into our house while we are gone, and concerned about where we will live when we get back. I explained to her that we would find a new house and maybe she would even get a bigger bedroom. We have told her –ask us questions any time you have one, we don’t want you to worry, everything will be ok. So she gets real serious with us from time to time and says – I have a question. It is really cute. I just think we have to keep reinforcing that she can ask us anything at any time. Surprisingly, one of the things she is excited about is that when we move over there, she will have an “accent” and will sound different that the rest of her school friends. I thought this would bother her, but apparently, she can’t wait to be an American in England!

Right on track

The last few days, we have made a lot of progress. Hubby is confirmed in a flat for his temporary housing and a house hunting expedition is being set up for when he gets there. We have an offer for his car, and have talked to a realtor about selling our house. If you read my last post about the visa – we were going to try to party crash the biometrics center on Friday, but we decided against it, worried about being turned away by security. How much difference could one business day really make? It just didn’t seem worth it to us. We are scheduled for Monday and will keep the appointment. Even more progress –our expat friend has called the headmaster at the school we are looking at for Bean, and they said they most likely will have an opening in March/April for her. Also on that note, we told our current school the news. Their reactions were amazing –wow, England, that is going to be great –how exciting. As I listened to them, I realized yes it is amazing. There is still a part of me that is just so nervous about the whole thing, and worried about all the logistics and items on the to-do list that I forget that this is going to (hopefully!) be a great experience. Also, the owner of the school asked if Bean would be able to send pictures and emails to her friends –as a learning experience for them. I think Bean will really enjoy that! We just gave her a camera and she has been posing her sister by the Christmas tree every chance she gets and even took some pictures of the newly fallen snow this morning. So I think she will really relish the opportunity to keep in touch with her friends in that way. I also had a preliminary conversation with Bean about the move and it went fairly well. I started by saying daddy would be going to England for work after Gerbie’s b-day party (which is Jan 2) and would be gone for a few weeks. She was super upset about this. Then, I said –what if we all move to go be with him, so we don’t have to be apart for very long? She just looked at me and with big eyes said –move to England??? Yep, what if we move all of our stuff to be with him? I could tell she was thinking about this, and then she said –can I take my toys? I reassured her that yes, she could take her toys. All was fine again. She will have daddy and toys –what more is there? I am not sure she totally gets it yet, but I have a few weeks to keep discussing with her and preparing her. I didn’t want to get in depth about what this really means all at once. There is still time for all that to sink in. Now we just have the huge task of getting the house ready to be on the market, decide what goes with us, what goes to storage, ahhh yes, here comes that stressed feeling again.

Visa Process Drama

Nope, I am not talking about the credit card, I am talking about the little piece of paper that allows you to live and work in another country. And what a process this is. I guess we knew about this, we saw it coming, but still, we were not prepared. We got an email yesterday from his new employer –he has been approved for work in the UK –now it is time to finish the visa process, which by the way has to be approved and documents returned to us prior to Jan 3, when he is supposed to be going across the pond to begin work. Ummm, this is December 17 as I write this, next week is Christmas, the following week is New Years, see where I am going with this? Being a little familiar with the immigration process for someone coming to the US, I knew that to come here, you had to prove that you have a skill that enables you to work in the US without taking a job away from a US worker. This is similar to the process in the UK –my husband’s company had to run through a points system and advertise the job to make sure that a UK local is not losing a job opportunity over this. Luckily, my dear hubby has a skill that does specialize him for his new job - Global Head of Quality Management, Global Data Centers, – he has his MBA in International Business Strategy. That plus a few other factors, and his being qualified over others was the easy part in all of this. But then there are more steps involved. Including A LOT of documentation that has to be sent to the UK Consulate in Chicago, the closest one to us –originals of our marriage license, birth certificates, degrees, passports, offer letters, applications, quite a bit of money ($400 a piece X 4 of us–thankfully to be reimbursed once he starts employment) and two additional things that threw my head into a tizzy. The first was passport photos. Again. If you didn’t read my last blog posting on this topic, we had a very hard time getting our toddler a passport photo. Now to find out we need another one for her visa? If I had known this fact when we did her passport, I would have had them make duplicates. So it was back to Walgreen’s last night after school, trying to get everyone a new passport photo for our visa. We finally got one, after a massive temper tantrum thrown on the floor of Walgreen’s (I am so proud), and a lot of bribery (happy meal and a sucker). I feel like a good mom. Now, I just hope the picture is accepted -it might be a little questionable. The second thing that surprised me was a biometrics appointment. Luckily Gerbie is under 5 and not subjected to this. We made an appointment for the rest of us as fast as we could, at the center in downtown Columbus. We luckily were able to get in for Monday, December 21. But the company guy said –that might not be soon enough, try to walk in on Friday and see if they will take you. Now, the website says, you have to have an appointment document to even get in through security, but we are going to give it a shot tomorrow morning. Wish us luck. More to come…..

Communication Issues

Even though in England they speak the same language we do, there is still a slight language barrier between the UK and the US. They have an accent, they spell things differently, use different expressions, they even use completely different words. If I completely immerse myself in their language, this is what I might say on a typical day:
I was leaving my flat, on the way to the tube to go to elevenses, pushing my pram, with my spare nappies. I was hoping there would not be a long wait in the queue, as I was a mum with a knackered wee one. I took my brolly, as it was mizzling. I was hoping my lass would keep her knickers dry as the loo costs a pound. Her plimsolls got wet, she became unwell and I had to get on the motorway to find a chemist. As my older lass went to school I said to her –no mucking around and don’t forget your rubbers.
By the way - Did you realize how many words there are for rain in England? That is another topic I am sure I will be able to write more about once I get there. Of course, when it rains almost every day, you have to come up with new ways to describe it.
Honestly, aside from all the different words they use, I have a hard time understanding accents. We are going to be living in the North area of England, where the accents are even heavier than in London, and only mere hours from Scotland, where they are so heavy, I can hardly understand a thing they are saying. I used to work for a CEO who was Scottish. I would walk away from a conversation with him and look at my boss and ask her what I was supposed to do. So, you can see my concern. Funny enough based on the fact that I don’t understand accents, I actually manage the International Benefits for my company, so I have had many a conversation with people from our London office, and I generally understand most of what they say, but I prefer to do everything in email when possible, just to be safe. I don’t think I will be able to do that while I am living there. Oh Bloody Hell.

Castles and Princesses

Even though we have not yet told the girls we are moving, we have been hinting around and asking Bean some questions to get her excited about it. Would you like to go see the bridge that is in the picture above our piano? It is a picture of the Tower Bridge in London, oftenly confused as the bridge from the popular song: London Bridges Falling Down. (see the picture above). Would you like to get a passport so you can travel to another country? She loved looking at her new passport when it came, seeing her picture in it and she can’t wait to get a stamp in it right away. Daddy bought her a journal on a recent shopping trip so she could write her travel journey’s in it, and she is so excited to start writing them down. And my favorite question and response –would you like to go see a real castle? Her enthusiastic response –yes mommy –I want to see the one that Belle lives in. Ummmm, ok. Now, do we really need to explain to her that real princesses do not look like cartoon characters, that the beast is not really living in a castle with Belle and that she won’t be able to go in and have tea and cookies with them? My husband and I took a trip to London pre-kids, and I really enjoyed seeing Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, Kensington Palace and the Tower of London and I think she will love them too. I can’t wait to take her to the Tower of London to see the Crown Jewels, although I can already hear her asking to try on one of the crowns. I am torn between giving her a history lesson, and wanting to leave some of her 5 year old magic alone—I would not explain to her that Santa isn’t really coming into our house on Christmas Eve, so why burst her bubble about princesses? She is excited about seeing a castle, but I am afraid she is more excited about her IDEA of what a castle looks like. Talking tea cups and dancing candles are obviously not real, so I hope she is not disappointed. Maybe to allow her to keep her enthusiasm for castles, the easiest answer is -sorry sweetie, we can’t go into that castle to see Belle today –she is getting ready for the ball.

Driving on a different side

When people ask me what I am most nervous about –there is one thing that comes to mind. It is not finding a new place to live, trying to figure out a new culture, meeting new friends, even figuring out how to go grocery shopping. These things may provide some difficulties, but I am confident I will figure those out eventually. No, the thing that concerns me the most is driving: on a different side of the car, on a different side of the road. You know the saying, it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks? Well, I have been driving for 21 plus years, it is hard to think of reversing a lot of the things you do naturally while driving. I love hopping in my minivan, (yes, with cheerios in the crevices and splatters of milk on the seat in front of my toddler) and knowing with confidence that I can get to where I need to be. My husband recently got us a Garmin and filled it with maps of the UK. This will help me figure out HOW to get where I am going, but learning the new road signs, which all seem so confusing to me, figuring out how to navigate a roundabout, of which there are plenty, while keeping the car on the left side of the road, while I am sitting on the right side of the car, just overwhelms me. After talking to another expat recently, she said to me –it’s not so bad, you just figure it out. Take a look at the road sign in this post –anyone have any idea what to do when you see this one? Me neither!
On a side note, things are coming along as we get ready for the move. My husband is about to finalize his temporary housing arrangements, and I think we have settled the school issue for now. Next up –finding a place for us to live for the next two years!

Flaming Pudding....Really?

I think everyone has Christmas traditions that they remember from when they were children, or that they have started with their own children. I have lots of memories of things we used to do with my family for Christmas – making date nut bars for Santa (found out later it was a favorite of Santa’s, re: my dad), having cheese ball, crackers and eggnog on Christmas Eve while my dad read the Night Before Christmas, eating powdered donuts and hot chocolate while opening stocking gifts on Christmas morning, opening presents and then driving to my grandma and grandpa’s house. I was usually squished in the middle of the backseat with my brothers on each side of me while we (kind of) sang the song –“over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go!” We did these things year after year, and they became comforting traditions.
My husband and I have started trying to make new traditions for our children. Putting out cookies and reindeer food on Christmas Eve is the one that Bean gets very excited about every year. The reindeer eat oatmeal, as this was the only thing I could find the first year to throw outside in the grass and now she remembers that. And of course, Daddy reading The Night Before Christmas. I am certain that as the girls get older, we will start new traditions as well. And maybe we will even pick up some new ones in England. Some of them that I have read about seem a little odd, but when in Rome (or England)……here are a few of them that I have read about.
---The pulling of the Christmas cracker: a cracker is a brightly colored paper tube, twisted at both ends, which contains a party hat, riddle and toy or other trinket. When it is pulled by two people it gives out a crack as its contents are dispersed.
---Listening to the Queen’s annual Christmas message on Christmas day.
---In the UK, Santa Clause is actually referred to as Father Christmas. He also dresses a little differently than what we see here, wearing a long green and red robe. And apparently Father Christmas is a little bit of a lush, as it is traditional to leave him sherry or a beer, not milk, along with a mince pie.
---Eating the Christmas flaming pudding, which by the way is apparently made weeks ahead of time, and is stirred by each family member as they make a wish. I already know what my wish will be –that I don’t have to actually eat flaming pudding.
---Celebrating Boxing Day, the day after Christmas. Still don’t really have a handle on this one, are we really expected to leave a box or a tip for someone, or is this one of the things where the name of the day continues but the actual activity stopped?
I am looking forward to learning how they celebrate holidays, the things that they may do differently, and maybe even incorporating some of these things into our own traditions after we are back in America (minus the pudding). That will allow the children to remember their time over there and appreciate it, and maybe even incorporate some of these things into their own traditions when they have their own families. Next year at this time, I can imagine a similar post to this, with the real low down on English Christmas traditions.

The Adventures of Bean and Gerbie

Sounds like a children’s book right? I have always thought of writing children’s literature, stemming back to my Elementary Education training in college. But I am not a writer, so the thoughts just wiggle around in the back of my mind and never go any farther. For those of you that know us well, you know that Bean and Gerbie are the nicknames for our girls. The nicknames occurred naturally, and both have stories as to how they were started. The girls love that they have nicknames, in fact the older girl (that would be Bean), knows when we are being serious with her because we call her by her real name, and not her nickname. From here on out, I will be referring to them in the blog by these nicknames, as it is going to be easier than calling them “the older one” and the “little one”, and since this is an open blog, I would prefer not to use their name for privacy purposes. Now, getting back to the “adventure” part of the blog title - part of our excitement for this great adventure in England is that the girls will get to experience a new culture, and see a lot of places that some people never get to see in their lives. And they will get to do this with the wonder and delight that is a natural part of being a child. Yes, they may not remember everything, hence the blog and the pictures that will be taken. I am hoping to put enough of their adventures into writing for them so that we can capture these experiences for them to remember. We have not yet told them that we are moving, we will be telling them when daddy has to leave in a few weeks. I want to make sure we handle this in the right way, to make this transition as easy as possible for them. They are leaving behind their school, their friends, their house, their dog. We will be taking as many of their toys, bedroom furniture and stuffed animals as possible. I want them to at least be surrounded by their comfort items. And they will of course have mommy and daddy. I think that as long as they have us and their things, this will help. Gerbie is almost 2, she will not really understand, it is Bean I am the most worried about. At 5, she will understand what the move means. She has some wonderful friends at school that we have play dates with and two boys (yes, two) that she wants to “marry” much to daddy’s dismay. Earlier this year we had to change her to a new school, and that may have actually benefited us a little now, we can explain that it will be similar, that she will meet new friends, and fit in right away. Now, how to explain that she will talk differently than the other kids???? Anyway, I will be writing in this blog about the adventures of Bean and Gerbie, I am sure there will be many! Maybe I will even be inspired to finally jot down some stories for a children’s book –The Adventures of American Bean and Gerbie in England!

Christmas Memories

Christmas is all I am thinking about today. I love Christmas –the decorations, the baked goods, the music, the family gatherings and gift giving. Today is December 1, and my house is decorated, my Christmas cards are mailed, my presents are all purchased, my mom and I have even gotten all the Christmas baking done. This is the first time, ever, that I have been this prepared for Christmas. A lot of this is due to the “big thing” going on in our life. My husband starts his job on January 4. Because he will be leaving in a month, we have so many things to do, including, but not limited to: selling his car, meeting with realtors, starting to pack up some of the things we don’t use frequently and finding a storage facility. But we also want to enjoy our Christmas, especially since it will be the last one in this house. Also on my mind, is the fact that when my husband leaves, we won’t be seeing him for weeks at a time until the girls and I move to England a few months later. I want this time to be as special as it can be –and take lots of pictures for our own memories, and so the kids will always remember it. The more prepared I am, the easier it will be to just sit back and enjoy the special moments.
Two years ago at this time, I was working from home on modified bed rest, trying to keep my youngest from arriving into the world too early and my husband was working from home “just in case”. She had tried twice already by that point to come. I remember thinking at that time, at least it is Christmas time and we get to enjoy our decorations. Now two years later, my husband and I have been fortunate enough with our jobs that we are both working from home, and again, we are thinking the same thing –at least we get to enjoy our Christmas decorations and our tree all day long, not just in the evenings. What a blessing.
We do plan to travel back to the US for Christmas next year, so if all goes as planned, we won’t be celebrating it in England, but we will take our Christmas decorations with us, so that we can at least decorate our new place and hopefully, make it feel a little bit more like home.