I missed a milestone and I didn’t even realize it, well, I did actually kind of realize it, but in my haze of jet lag and culture shock, I don’t think it really struck me that it was that important. Today, it was bittersweet to realize that it was and that I was not ready for it to occur. I thought I would have more time. I knew it was going to be happening, but I didn’t realize the impact it would have on me. My little girl is going to school - a real school. Here it is called a State School, back home it is called a Public School. True, she was actually in Kindergarten back in the US, but it was a private Kindergarten, in a daycare setting. I took her directly to her classroom and left her there and picked her up at the same classroom at the end of the day. I could drop her off at any time before 8:30 and pick her up at any time after 3:30. No rush to be there at a certain time as she had before and after school care. I knew that when we were moving she would be going to a “real school” here, as they start Reception (Kindergarten) at age 4. But knowing this and experiencing it are two different things. She has to be at the schoolyard promptly at 8:35 ready to walk in and I have to be at the school gate to pick her up promptly at 3:20. They do not have a school bus system here, so I need to do it myself. She went to school the first full week that we were here, but again, we were tired, I was learning to drive, there was construction on all the roads surrounding her school, there were so many other things on my mind. Today, her first day back after her two week spring break, it really struck me for the first time. My little girl is in school. Today was the first day that I was able to let her hang up her things in the cloakroom right inside the school door, and walk to her classroom by herself. You see, parents are not supposed to go to the classroom doors. I did the first week, as she was new and tentative about walking in and they didn’t say anything and they let me do it. But this morning, I had a talk with Bean – “you need to hug me and say goodbye by the cloakroom, ok?” “Ok mommy, I can do it” she said. And yes, she did it. I watched her walk all the way down the hallway, without barely a glance backwards and walk straight into her classroom without turning around to even wave. And it hit me – I was the one not ready for this, but she was. My sweet 5 year old little girl, is actually a big girl now. As I wiped the tears away and tried to will away the uneasiness of seeing my child walk away from me and knowing that she doesn't quite need me in the same way that she once did, I realized that this was indeed an important milestone.
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